You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who will always be there for you, and who will love every part of you, especially your flaws

— an excerpt from a movie we all love

and hate at the same time

Love, Rosie.

This one hits hard. It’s one of the quotes that hits you to the home run.

Day 12 and I’m still figuring things out. Like why is he still using the reminder group chat that has the both of us in it, shall I leave that group or not? Should I probably delete the custom spotify playlist I made for car rides, and the ones that was full with Local songs, and the one that you wanted to make again because the old one got old…

Should I?

I don’t know, the reason I haven’t done those things is just I.. I don’t want to make a scene..? Even though probably nobody cares or pays attention to that little detail.

What am I supposed to do? Of course I want to stay friends, it’s just… really confusing at the moment. The night we said goodbye, I knew it was official. For sure. I did not regret a single bit. The only thing that kept me from breaking up is the thought of having to get back into the market, get back into searching for secureness and back in to feeling lonely most of the times. The thought of “who would ever love me and my flaws again”. And the part I hate the most, is the part where I have to open up again… Relationships are hard. But it kept me wondering. Is it supposed to be hard? or flow easily like we know it’s supposed to meant to be.

Moreover, getting back into the game, overthinking and stuffs. Hence, why I created this medium to share my inner wildest thoughts, by the name artquarius, which is basically the “to all the boys I loved before” version of my life.

Well that’s a great idea. Maybe tomorrow I could write that love letter…

I just got off a group phone call with my friends for a presentation tomorrow so I lost all my mood to write so, ttyl

Sincerely,

artquarius.